Tell her of sunshine always
tell her of how you rushed to find the words
and put the book back on the shelf
and the vicious sanctimony that arose in that moment forever
darkened the shadows of yourself against the emblazoned tomb of the world
Tell her of sunshine and
the juxtaposition of those intrepid words will incite the violence of love within her.
tell her of sunshine
and she will hear within it the sorrowful moans of those in airplanes overhead
begging in silence to the stewardess for water.
tell her of the cracked pebbles beneath the shadows of crows overlooking the stoplights and of the those with the tongues blackened with the questions of tomorrow
tell her of sunshine
I feel like this poem was somehow overlooked, probably because you posted three in a row ; )
Although it was one of the one’s I liked most of those original 3… for some reason it has a friction I can’t quite pin point.
Reading this I’m projected into a place, I can’t quite describe it… This seems like a personal experience but reading this I grapple to piece together what is going on. The instructive nature of the poem makes it seem like generic advice, but it’s obvious there’s something personal being exposed.
It’s funny that I dislike the word “juxtaposition” in this piece- I feel like it sticks out like a jagged rock… maybe that’s the point? The poem itself is very much a juxtaposition between the line “tell her of sunshine” and the fairly dark imagery of the other confessions.
I feel like this piece would be stronger with a little polishing. Little things like keeping the length of the lines more consistent and keeping the back and forth Sunshine/Darkness images in balance so they play off each other more… It’s very powerful but there’s something keeping the full power at bay. (For me at least)
That’s my unsolicited critique, but hey, that’s what we are here for, right?