Kraft the Redeemer (based on a true story)

And cries could be heard far and wide as the hunger set in.  The peanut-butter jar was now empty and echoing the sounds of despair as the knowledge set in that no sandwich would be made this day.  But then Kraft the Redeemer took up the jar of vacant nuts and oils and began to scrape at the walls with an unadorned knife, transforming this simple jar from a useless, hollow item into something hallow.   The cool metallic clanks of steel on glass could be heard resonating throughout the kitchen, as hungry urchins held their breath and stared with bulging eyes.  Witnesses would recount far into the future the fantastic spectacle they beheld, as little by little peanut-butter continued to fall from the jar upon the toasted bread, creating a meal where no meal sat before.  Songs of rejoicing illuminated the linoleum surface and drifted out through the open windows, for today a miracle was witnessed – the miracle of the Immaculately Conceived Sandwich.